(continuation of Part 1)

Before you roll any of your life’s principle, think the many exclusion to those rules.

5. Be Charitable

But not if… You are a case for charity yourself.

If only for purely selfish reasons, being charitable makes you feel good, gives your self-image a boost and helps reduce your payable income tax. But should you be charitable for charity’s sake? “I’m hopeless at saying No when people ask for my help,” admits Sabrina, 29. “Whenever there’s a charity drive, I’m one of the first to contribute.” Sabrina set up several auto-debits from her savings account to various charities over the years. But when she started falling behind on her house repayments, she realized she could not sustain the $500 monthly deductions. “I felt bad stopping the donations, but I was close to becoming a charity case myself! Charity should never disempower you.”

6. Be Selfless

But not if… It’s going to hurt more than help.

Putting others before self is great, bu do so in the workplace at your peril. “Organizational dynamics is all about favors,” says Peter Lai, an HR manager. “But selflessness in the workplace can sometimes lead to the wrong results.” Such favors could be simple stuff like covering for someone who’s late for work to finishing a co-worker’s report. But there are more serious examples such as sharing sales revenues so a colleague can meet her target. “Such selfless employees do more harm to people’s careers than good,” he says. “By abetting them, you make them think they can get away with cheating, and though they may do so for a while, eventually their true colors will show. Tardy employees almost always remain tardy, no matter where they work.”

7. Be Ambitious

But not if… You lose more than you gain.

Ambition is good, but like many other things, it calls for compromise. Many people are under the illusion that the higher you go in your career, the more time you’ll have for yourself and those you love. Unfortunately, the reverse is more often true. Bella, a 29-year-old sales manager with a child, was offered a regional position last year that promised a huge pay rise. She accepted, but quickly regretted her decision. “I knew it meant spending less time with my family, and I thought I was ready,” says Bella. “But returning from a two-week business trip and finding that my son didn’t recognize me broke my heart.” So Bella quit. She took a job in a small firm near her house so she was able to get home before six evening, and although the pay is much less, at least her son knows her. “Like the ad says,” Bella quotes: “Some things money cannot buy.”

8. Get Married

But not if… You are unhappy.

Much advice on life is to do with love and relationships, and how finding a good partner can make you happier. Not so fast. The first rule to finding happiness is that it should come from within. Love cannot make you happy if you are not happy. Second rule, do what makes you happy. If that means staying single, then solo you should stay. Society is full of wives who prefer to be alone, but who married for their family’s sake. They lead miserable existences with partner they may like but don’t love. Don’t get married unless you want to, and don’t stay single if you want to be married. Either way, leave happiness out of the equation. Happiness cannot be found in love; it is a wholly independent state of mind. A partner may complement your happiness, but the only person who can really give it to you is yourself.